Why Should You Love Yourself First Before Loving Someone Else?
You have met the most wonderful person on earth (at least that is what you think). Everything seems picture perfect, you just cannot believe how you could be that lucky person to have found your perfect fit when others are still struggling to get hold of someone like your partner.
You are finally happy after the tiring search for someone who loves you more than anyone else and it seems too good to be true. All your family and friends adore him or her and feel that you are such a lucky person and you feel the same.
Time passes and this new-found happy relationship starts getting old, the excitement declines slowly, and the relationship begins to plateau. Misunderstandings start arising and you start speculating what went wrong, how can such a perfect relationship go south? Well, the answer to this question is no mystery, you just need to rewind yourself a little- if it is too good to be true, then it is not true entirely and that is the harsh reality many people ignore in new relationships.
You must still be confused as to what could have gone wrong? Keep reading further to understand the complexities of human psychology, how it affects your overall persona and state of mind and how can you cope with it.
Understand the True Meaning of a Relationship:
I have heard weird definitions of relationship, one such hilarious definition is that “a relationship is about two people making each other happy, satisfied and complete” (the most hilarious of all).
How can two people who are not comfortable with their own personality make the other person happy and complete? How can someone who is not happy in general develop a feeling of love (which is a happy feeling) for someone else and in turn make them happy?
Majority of people out there are scared to accept their own flaws and fall in a relationship for wrong reasons such as battling loneliness, for comfort, partnership, and social obligations.
Happiness is much more than just settling down with someone who you think is perfect for you. True happiness can only be achieved when you work hard to become the person you really want to be and no partner of yours can bring that kind of happiness to you.
A healthy relationship can only develop when two people are happy with themselves and comfortable about who they are. Love develops when you keep your happiness at a top priority.
Thrive towards Self Growth:
There is nothing sexier than self-growth. Self-growth starts with self-awareness which helps you find the right direction in your relationship and helps you set realistic expectations from your significant other.
You can be selfish and just focus on yourself as long as it helps you progress in your passions and goals. Getting into a relationship can make you comfortable and lose focus on who you really are. Get out of this comfort zone, empower who you are and live your dreams. Once you succeed in achieving what you are truly capable of, your relationship with your partner will be true as the basis of your relationship would not just be about validation of yourself from him or her.
Let your life be about who you are and what you want to achieve. Work towards pleasing just yourself and no one else. Be the person who you truly want to be because your happiness lies only in your own hands.
Avoid a Relationship if its Purpose is to Fill a Temporary Void:
A relationship is not a temporary solution to find happiness. In fact, being in a relationship can never be a solution to find happiness at all. Yes, you may feel joyful for sometime in a relationship but let us be realistic, we do not live in a world of fairy tales, something or the other may turn up at any point of time creating misunderstandings and spoiling the bliss of your courtship.
Just being in a relationship and to feel loved by someone else can temporarily feel good and only provide a short-term peace of mind. Once your partner starts pointing out your flaws, the bliss just ends.
Expecting someone else to love you unconditionally so that you feel good about yourself is just bullshit. There is just one person out there who can stick to your high expectations, it is you. The void created can be filled by no one other than yourself and self-contentment should become your lifestyle choice.
You Need to Prioritize Yourself:
Being in a relationship does not mean you prioritize your needs secondary and your partners primary. Let us be practical, you both are no Romeo and Juliet but two people trying to stay together while working through each other’s flaws.
It is important that you take care of yourself first and the only person who will never fail to be there for you is YOU. There is nothing wrong in prioritizing your needs first if you do not hurt your partner in doing so. Give your partner the freedom to prioritize themselves as well.
Love is a sweet term but people sometimes get so much caught up in it that they forget their own desire and aspirations and all they think about is how to please their significant other.
Do not get too much caught up in your significant other’s world as that would leave less room for you in your own life which can get quite frustrating, ultimately affecting your relationship altogether.
Dig Deep for Self Awareness:
You attract what you are, not what you want.
If you want great, then be great.
Remember the feeling when you meet someone and instantly feel the chemistry and connect? The forces of attraction play their roles which just cannot be explained.
If you are an awesome person, you will attract awesomeness. If you are a train wreck, you will attract a mess. Dig deep within to understand the kind of person you are and see if there is any room for self-improvement.
[epq-quote align=”align-right”]An ideal relationship is not about two people growing old together but it is all about two people learning, growing and improving themselves independently.[/epq-quote]Keep a check on your growth constantly and do not let this growth stop once you start a relationship. An ideal relationship is not about two people growing old together but it is all about two people learning, growing and improving themselves independently.
Do Not Let a Relationship Define You:
A ‘relationship status’ does not define who you are, your self-growth is what makes you who you are. It is perfectly fine to be single and in love with yourself.
A relationship should not become dependency rather it should be all about the joy of togetherness. Hence, be careful when you choose a partner as your destiny is not a matter of chance but the choices you make.
The feeling of being loved by someone else may be elating but it is not sufficient for a lifetime and definitely, you cannot depend on someone else for your happiness. Once you make the conscious decision of loving yourself more than others and not needing validation from others to feel loved, you will be in a better state of mind capable of fully loving someone else and end up developing a meaningful relationship with your partner.
The Wise Hero
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Meet The Wise Hero
“Just a free bird from the flock”
From the Holy-Land of India rises a spirit with self-gained wisdom and the passion to share it with you. These wise scripts once read will free your mind of negative energy and bring in all facts to your never-ending internal Encyclopedia - your Brain! Enjoy the journey of facts and real life experiences and do share your story with us.
Pooja MitraLearn more
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